Welcome back to The Fattest Girl in the Room. This is a podcast about being a fat girl in a not so fat-friendly world. I’m your host Tae, plus-size fashion and fat girl lifestyle blogger at Hello Taee, and in this episode, we’re talking about what self-love is NOT.
Now, I might get a little lecturey on you (though that’s definitely not my intention) because I want to talk about the incredible importance of continual growth. Loving yourself is only one step, once you have that base love and you’ve started to build that confidence, it’s incredibly important that you grow within it and aim for the best life that you can live.
Because however amazing your light might be today, it could always be better.
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The Fattest Girl in the Room was created by Tae Haahr. Episodes are produced, edited and hosted by Tae. The opinions of podcast guests are their opinions and do not reflect the opinion of The Fattest Girl in the Room podcast Tae Haahr Strategy + Communications. Our music is licenced through Audio Jungle and is called “Happy” by original_soundtrack.
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Full Episode Transcript
Please Note: The following transcript was completed by AI, and therefore could contain inaccurate information.
Welcome to the fattest girl in the room. This is a podcast about being a fat girl in a not so fat Hey, girl, welcome back to the fattest girl in the room. I am your hostess with the mostest tang on. And this is a podcast about factory life fat girl problems, And we’re kind of the overall fat girl experience. So if you’re here, you’re gonna want to get ready to get candid and probably a little too personal and maybe today to be kind of lectured at Not really. That’s not my intention, but it might turn out that way. Um, and I do this podcast and I write the hello table out because overall, I believe if you have your confidence U um sorry. If you love your body, you can build and have your confidence. And therefore and only then when you have that confidence, you can even go on to live your best life. And this kind of ultimately, what my goal is here. My goal and just general is to live my best life, and I kind of want everyone else have that scene experience. And so, uh, so that that’s what we’re all. That’s what we hear all about. Whatever. I don’t even know what I’m saying. I don’t know what I’m saying these days, guys, I’m so sorry. Um, before we get too far into it, my name is Tae. I am the blogger behind. Hello, Teh Ah, that’s h e l l o t e e dot com um, where you can find my musings on plus size, fashion, beauty, life all that lovely seven, actually, um, due to the fact that literally everyone wants work from home now and run their own business because of what’s currently going on, we also added are adding, And guess we we officially added it on Friday, But we are starting to add a section called the Fem Preneurs section, which is just basically how to build businesses and stuff like that. So if you are interested in that, I know we’ll be talking about being a freelance writer because that’s how I started out. We’ll talk about running agencies for, you know, whatever your skills, that is. I mean, I’ll obviously talk about marketing agencies because that’s what I do. But it’s their skills. You can go and do anything for whether you want to be like it in men, like a V agency or anything of that. Anyway, whatever. So the point of this part guess is not to talk about that so you can go to hell. Oh, tae dot com And you can check out what we’ve got going on the block today. This week we actually have just so much stuff going on. I’m really excited. So definitely if you haven’t checked it out, Go check it out. Um, just we’ve got such awesome stuff. I’m so excited. Um, and you can hang z’s with me on instagram at Hello. Underscore Tae. That’s hello. Underscore t e. And you’ll want to go there cause that’s kind of them. The place and most active on social media also hang out on Pinterest. But, um, unless you’re a big Pinterest easier, that’s not super relevant. All right, that’s it. I’m done with that. I’m I’m done talking about that kind of stuff today. We’re gonna be talking about what self love isn’t. So I am obviously all about building up yourself, love, um, accepting yourself, accepting your body, being cool with who you are thinking you are hot shit. Um even on days that you don’t feel like it because I think that your overall, your confidence and your overall self image, um, those are really what makes it s so that you can you can, um, jingle after the things you want. You have the confidence to go, you know, get that promotion, er or, um, where that bikini or whatever it is. Ah, because I really want my end goal, like I said, is for everyone to work towards building the best life for them, the best life that they want, being who they want to be in truly being happy. Um, most of the time, I just I don’t think it’s possible to be happy all the time. So most of the time, however, but and this is a really big but loving who you are and accepting yourself for all of your faults and building that I am who I am and that’s okay mentality. That’s not an excuse. Um, it’s not an excuse to just be liking yourself, accepting who you are being comfortable in your own skin. That’s only one step. That’s not the end goal. I mean, I am obviously all of about body positivity. I want a more inclusive world. I think healthy bodies are all different shapes and sizes and all of that kind of stuff. But I don’t want people to to stop at that, like I’m now happy with myself. I’m done because that’s not the end goal. That’s a step. Um, so yes, being confident, loving yourself, being comfortable in your own body image and and just generally, you know, working on the South. Love the self love things that we talked about all the time. Um, they will make you. They’ll make you happier. They’ll help you to become happier. But if that’s all you do, if you just stop there and you coast, um, after that all of that hot happiness, it’s not ha Penis or guys. All of that happiness is not just going to stick around. It’s not just gonna be there. It’s going to fade because you’re not doing anything to stimulate it. So let’s think about, um, let’s think about the exception to the rule. This is how I say this all the time because it’s one of my favorite things. Um, I don’t know if anyone remembers. I think I talked about this in the episode of Like, Ask Him Out or whatever. It’s not really relevant, but does anyone remember the movie? He’s just not that into you. Um, I watched this movie so many times it was devastating to me and ask her why I think, um, that I realized that some people are just, you know, some behavior is just crazy. If you like constantly calling some whatever that’s not. That’s not what we’re talking about today. So in that in that, um, in that movie, I think it’s Jonathan Long, who plays like the one character he tells the girl that there are rules. And then there are exceptions to the rule, and she is the rule and not the exception. In the end of the movie, Spoiled already comes back, and he’s like, Oh, you’re my exception. Whatever. It’s a Rome. Come, guys, Um, I that exception to the rule thing open me up to this really weird view of the world of like OK, yeah, that makes sense. Everything has to be the rule. The exception has to be the exception and asked with small exception, because if we’re all the exception to the rule than, um then, obviously, like the standard of mediocrity, C is is raised because that and then those exception. Then there’s the exception of the exception. Anyway, the point that I’m trying to make with this the very convoluted, very bizarre point that I’m trying to make is that if you that Happiness bar has to keep being braised if you, your current state of self love and all that great stuff in all that lovely stuff will feed off if you’re not doing anything to continuously improve yourself. I’m very much about this idea of like, Look, you’re not living your best life today. I don’t care what you’re doing. You get there, there is something that could be better, and you should aim for it to be better. There is that certain relief that comes with not succumbing to the world view of who we are. But being happy about not conforming to everyone else’s idea is not the end goal. You’re not off the hook. You still owe yourself the effort of putting your best foot forward so that you’re constantly improving because true happiness, really, it’s not in that like I’ve accepted stage acceptance is not happiness. True happiness is growth when we’re standing still, we are not growing. We’re not going anywhere. And it’s gonna get old, really assume. And now, in saying this, am I telling you that you have to go about that bikini body? No, of course not. Hell, no. That’s like 100%. No, what I’m saying at all, Um, I’m not going for a bikini body. That’s not like my happiness state. And honestly, I I my body looks fine. Bikini Regis’s and years probably does, too. However you do owe it to yourself to take care of yourself. Um, and that means things like, you know, getting up in your feet, going for a walk, turning on YouTube. Especially in like the day that we’re in today, where no one could go to a gym or anything like that. I hate gyms personally, so you probably won’t find me there. But you can do a workout from use you like a YouTube video just in your room. You can go to bed earlier. You entering where water you can eat better food like, you know, fruits and vegetables. You can even switch out all of your crappy chemically makeup to stuff That’s good. That’s the thing that I’m working on. Um, and you’re not doing these things because you have to and you’re not doing these things because society says you have to You’re doing these things. You’re making conscious, healthy decisions for yourself because you love and respect yourself enough to take care of you. So you have one body and you don’t get a do over in it. And, yeah, I’m not. I’m not arguing on religion less factor. People who are religious have a different view of that. I’m not arguing that right the second you are living in one body and you don’t get a 2nd 1 if you screwed up. And this also includes things like your mental health. And that’s part of where that that self love is coming from that self love in that telling yourself in believing yourself that you are beautiful, the way that you are is is part of your is taking care of your mental health. And that’s equally as important, if not in some cases, more important. In my opinion, there’s lots people that would disagree with that, and that’s fine. I just I don’t want anyone to come back to me at the end of the day and say, Well, you said that I’m good enough as I am. So I don’t have Thio do anything else to make myself that I’m not saying that at all. I’m saying I’m telling you right now that is one step in you, but you still have to continues to be improving yourself. You still have to continuously work for that for that extended happiness. We’re gonna call it in this scenario, but to keep yourself happy. You’re not. If you’re bored, if you’re sitting there like think boat everyone who’s sitting at home right now if you’ve been sitting at home for a few days because of the the lovely cove in 19 and you’re probably bored and I say this very knowingly because while I work from home all the time and I don’t actually mind whatever, I don’t, you know, go out a particularly large amount of times anyway. So this isn’t terribly different for me, although I was walking a lot more before. That’s mostly to do with the coldness, though, but I can tell you that my roommate is so bored, so bored sitting around and doing nothing. It’s funny, though, because I I remember from adult life when I was going to work in an office. And, man, you just wish for the days that you could stay home. You didn’t have to put on your shoes and your coat and walk down to the office and deal with all those people you have makeup on. Maybe you didn’t have to put pants on. You didn’t want to do that. You wanted to stay at home and staying bad. And then now you’re there and you’re a few days in and you’re like, This sucks. I hate this. I’m bored out of my mind. I want to do other things, and that is because you are just hanging out. You’re just in a mediocre state. You are just a comedian. You’re not moving anywhere. You’re not growing. You are getting bored. And so look, I truly mean it when I say that if you lose £100 today, it’s not gonna make you happier. And that not if you don’t like yourself as is. If you have a problem with you, have you have a problem with your body size? If you have a problem with the way you look. Changing it without changing your mind is not going to help you. It’s just not This is not how it works, but if you’re good with yourself if you accept who you are. If you like yourself if you like the way you look or or you like the way you feel, then any improvement on that is going to make you happier. It’s not about the I guess in this case, weight loss or changing your hair color or getting new clothes is not about that. Those things help. Those things can give you confidence. They can make you feel and look better. They can help you build your confidence a little bit more, but they can actually give you anything that didn’t exist here in the first place. They can only improve on something, and so really is important for you to build up that base. But once that bases bills, you you have to improve. You have to work to improve it because no matter how great things are today, they could be so much better tomorrow if you put the work into it. And honestly, one of the biggest things that I always think about when I’m trying to figure out. Okay, look, I want to do this X insert. Whatever. It really doesn’t matter. It’s really hard to start something, and it’s really hard to build those habits up. I totally get it because I’m really bad for it. But I always sit there and think, If I do this one thing one today for 30 days, my life could be significantly different because I put that little bit of effort in at up front and I continued on with it. No. Does that always work for me? No, not always. Sometimes I just don’t finish anyway. But, um, if you start putting the work in today, in 30 days, your life is going to be different. May not be significantly different, and that’s okay. But you know, third it is after that. 30 days after that. 30 days after that, like there’s there’s a lot of room for growth and essentially what I’m saying here in this, really, and I don’t want anyone to take this amusing. Losing weight is an example, because as a fat woman that is always our go to I will it goes back to, you know, the episode of me talking about doing things when we’re skinny. But it goes back to that idea of, you know, I am constantly waiting for me to be skinnier because I’m gonna be happier when I’m skinny or I’m not gonna be happy when I’m skinny or if I’m not, if I don’t accept myself now because I’m still gonna think I look just as bad. It’s never gonna be enough if I don’t like who I am now, However, view if you are at that point where you’re comfortable with yourself or you If you are at that point where you’re working towards being comfortable with yourself, you should constantly be trying to prove. And I guess the question I want a pose and why this is so important is that if you died tomorrow, would you be happy or there are the things that you haven’t done that you wanted. Thio. This is not, like, not related to wait necessarily. It can be it’s not. It’s not related to anything specific. I just want I just wanted to clarify that, you know, that’s not the end goal. Being confident in your body and accepting your body for what it is or accepting yourself for what you are right now is not the end goal. It is the step towards the angle of truly being happy. I I guess at the end of the day what I’m trying to tell you what I’m trying to get across in a probably very luxury way, and I apologize. I’m not trying to lecture, but I probably sound like I am. But what I’m trying to get across is don’t be complacent and don’t just accept things work towards growing. And I think the reason why I’m saying this is because we are at home right now. Everyone is stuck and people are bored and I totally get that boredom. And I totally feel it as well. I get that I’m not infallible about it, despite the fact that I truly do. You sit in front of my computer for, you know, hours upon hours upon hours they were talking my 14 to 16 hours a day. I still don’t get that feeling of boredom. I just I think we should be using this. Time is scary is the world is and is freaky as it is that everything that’s going on, I would really love to encourage everyone to use the time to to improve their self, to make themselves better and to work towards whatever it is that your goals are. And if you don’t have any goals, now is the perfect time deploying them because you have all this time. And if you sit there and you fixate on the world basically falling apart, Um, put what or whatever else you want to call it if you sit there and fixate on it, it is not going to make you feel any better at all. It’s not. It’s gonna make you feel 10 times earth. I’m trying not to read news articles or or look at that stuff, and it’s not because I don’t care. It’s because I don’t need to freak myself out any more than I’m freaked out. Right now, I am doing exactly what I can d’oh! At this moment to help prevent the future spread of Corona virus and that is staying at home keeping myself healthy. Um, and working that’s not really not really about, but ah so I’m doing what I can do and there’s no reason why I should be fixated on it. And so I really want to encourage everyone Thio to start working towards improving them yourself and start working towards those goals that you wanna accomplished because they know you havethe, um, at the end of the day, I think now is just the perfect time two to start working towards whatever it is that you start designing your dream life. If there’s something that you want, now is the time to bright it down and plan it out because you’re not getting any younger. Regardless, how old you are. Not getting any younger time is not reversing. It is going forward things. They’re going scary fast right now, it feels like and also super slow one of those weird things. And so now is a great time for you to just get in touch with yourself. Figure out what it is that you want and and make a game plan about what it is that you wanted to use. Your improve yourself and I don’t keep saying improve yourself, Nikki. I kind of hate that term because it it makes it sound like there’s something wrong with you, but I just improving yourself doesn’t mean that there’s something wrong with you. It just means that you want something more and there is nothing wrong with that. And I think I find this. This kind of resonates with me the most because I think I find that there’s a part of me that you know, wants to be healthier and do all these things. And then there’s also a part of me that feels like I’m betraying my body if I’m trying to improve the way that it looks and that’s not the case. And so I just wanted Thio. I just want to touch base with everyone and, you know, kind of related that factor of like, you know, trying to improve yourself does not mean that you don’t like who you are. It doesn’t mean that there is anything wrong with you, and it doesn’t mean that you’re telling yourself that you’re doing something wrong or that you’re not good enough or that you need to change. You’re not doing any of those things that it’s now what’s happening. If you’re working to improve yourself, it’s simply because you want something better for yourself. It doesn’t mean that there’s anything wrong with you. It means that you are willing to put in the effort to improve you. And you’re willing to put in the effort and dedicate the time and do all of that stuff because you love you. You are an awesome you. And you deserve that growth as opposed to you saying you’re not good enough. That’s that’s my angle. That’s what I’m trying to say here. Is that, like, don’t don’t stop. Because you’ve reached this happy medium about who you are. Keep going because you deserve it. And at the end of the day, it will make you so much happier, and we all deserve that. All right, I That is enough for my rent for today. It’s so not Miss Sue for me dad anymore. Um, I just want everyone to be continuously improving. That’s my That’s my ankle. All right, so if you want to hang these with me, you can go to the blogger. Hello, Tate out calm. You can hang out with me on Instagram at Hello. Underscored. Tae, um, we’ve got some awesome things coming up on the blood on the instrument on the podcast this week. So just hit that subscribe button. If you’re happened to be listening somewhere that you can rate review, I would love if you would do that. Ah, you certainly don’t have to. But, um, if you don’t mind how helping a pod. Castro, that would be really, really great. And, um yeah, throw me an email and tell me what it is that you are going to work on during the Corona virus. What do you improving in your life today? Well, you are a TTE home. Are you learning new language? I’m definitely not. But I did hear that some people were doing that and by here that some people were doing that. I mean, do a Lingle asked me if I wanted Thio The app on your phone. Are you learning guitar or another instrument? But that’s my roommate thinks he wants to, um, learn the guitar, um, or are you, you know, finally writing that novel that you want to do. So shoot me an email at fat girl pod at hello today dot com and tell me what it is that you are doing to improve yourself through this pandemic. Give me a bright side of it, guys, cause it’s getting a little getting a little lonely over here. I’ll catch you later on